63843044
AIM: Sorami122
rowan@paraselene.net

New journal entry and new temporary location for it because I am an indecisive moose. Now I am going out to eat scampi but I will be back to plaguing you with my bizarre little mind tomorrow, okay?!
Saturday, April 14, 2001 06:46 p.m.

Shit.. nope.. forgot what I was going to say.. hmm.. Think it had something to do with salad. Mmm.. salad
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 06:55 p.m.

Yet again someone has found my site by searching for 'used knickers.' Obviously used knickers are quite a sought after thing in this day and age. I am seriously considering setting up a Used Knicker Enterprise and selling used knickers online for a big rip-off fee.. Hmm.. I am so career-minded it's unbelievable..
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 06:43 p.m.

I think it is quite safe to say that I fancy all bar two of the men in the office where I work at the moment. That makes for NINE WHOLE MEN. Can you imagine the state my hormones are in?!
Do you know what else is depressing? When you have to start checking the men you fancy for wedding rings. I feel so old.. Why do people have to get married? When I'm prime ministeress, I think I'll ban marriage unless I don't fancy the male who is going to get married. That would probably mean that 99.9% of marriages would be cancelled. I'm such a tart.
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 06:38 p.m.

Have you noticed how Beth's journal has turned into a 'messages to Rowan' board? It is very cool. I would feel like I had a Big Fan (hee hee!) except she keeps talking criptically and I'm scared.
Also, Jorrit keeps making me laugh and laugh with his Scottish accent. Scottish men are sexy. I miss Mark..
Also, today I received a lovely package through the mail from Rosie! Yay! I am really happy and must sing her praises here for a bit.. la la laaa.. Rosie is fab.. la la laa.. Rosie is fab.. THANK YOU ROSIE!! Today I bought a big big envelope and things will be sent to you soon!
Also Hannah has suggested I set up a webring for people with European journals. And I think it's a cool idea except I'm scared no one will join. :o( And it also makes me sad that I'd be leaving non-European people out and now I just don't know what to do, god dammit.
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 06:32 p.m.

Sorry. Engulfed by Very Bad Migraine(TM). All witty banter (hee hee!) temporarily removed from mind. Need aspirin and water and to lay down in a dark room. Back when feeling better with my usual braindead ramblings (probably tomorrow.) You are the weakest link, goodbye!
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 06:47 p.m.

Okay, Miss I'm-Going-to-Leave-Cryptic-Messages-&-Confuse-Ro-Totally, you! The only thing I can see is that he comes from near me and his friend (girlfriend?) goes to the same uni as my sister. That is all. Apart from that, I am clueless like a very Unclued Thing!
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 06:38 p.m.

I love ex-boyfriends who visit my journal in the middle of the night. It is like I am being stalked by some big Scottish monster, but in a kind of pleasant way, you know? I hadn't thought about him for months, and yet there he is, stalking my journal in the middle of the night, obviously still not quite over me even though we last spoke in January and he last saw me in November.
You see, (and this is what a Certain James should have realised, just as Scottish Stalking Monster has) I am Unique and Wonderful and, I suspect, impossible to fully get over. I hope James is suffering the consequences of this right now, god dammit. I hope you all are, ex-boyfriends! All of you! (I must start giving out my web address to more ex-boyfriends so that they can all stalk me and boost my ego. Hmm..)
Monday, April 9, 2001 06:15 p.m.

look! I know how to do this now! Gosh, I'm so clever! I can talk and talk and talk and it will just scroll along! Wow!
Monday, April 9, 2001 06:14 p.m.

P.S. I did NOT imagine the Creme Egg car! It was real, you Creme-Egg-car-non-believers, you! How little faith you have in my sanity! Deary deary me..
Sunday, April 8, 2001 07:59 p.m.

I have nothing at all inspiring to write today. My head is a big jumble of mush and occasional gorey bits and songs from this stupid play I was forced to sit through this afternoon just because my sister was the prompt - and she didn't even have to do any prompting so we didn't get to hear her voice! Ho hum..
I am bored and headachey and am probably dying. Send helpful things! Send a doctor! Or else just write to God and ask him to make the weekend a day longer because the thought of going back to work tomorrow makes me feel even more poorly! Thank you!
Now I must go because my sisters have given me a 10 minute time limit on the computer and they are shouting a countdown in my ears and I need to go hit them now! Good evening squires!
Sunday, April 8, 2001 07:53 p.m.

Today I was driving along the street, as you do, when I saw.. A CAR DISGUISED AS A CREME EGG! Really! It was the same shape and had a big Creme Egg design and it was just the coolest thing in the world. Except, of course, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw it and had to make my sister pinch me three times before I believed I was still On This Earth and not up with the fairies.
My sister said maybe it was really a big chocolate Creme Egg on wheels so we followed it round for a while to see if it would stop so we could eat it. But it didn't. Damn giant Creme Eggs on wheels.
Saturday, April 7, 2001 08:17 p.m.

Please listen to at least one BeeGees song today. Preferably 'Jive Talking'. Or 'How Deep Is Your Love'. Or the new one. I can't remember what that's called. Thank you.
Saturday, April 7, 2001 05:26 p.m.

Today I have PMT. Hear my hormones scream. I am too irritable to type anything that even vaguely resembles words so as you can see I have been having Fun With a Scanner instead. I am now going to scan loads of things into my scanner and make a collage out of them. I find the best things to do, you know?!
(P.S. Have you seen who has moved in with me?! I am so happy! I feel like I have the beginnings of a new Virtual Family! Yay!)
Saturday, April 7, 2001 05:13 p.m.

I would not really sleep with a caterpillar, don't be so silly. Its legs would get in the way for a start.
Friday, April 6, 2001 10:01 p.m.

Please go give Hannah some hugs.
P.S. My hair is curly like Curly Sue today. I love hair.
PPS. Sometimes Beth confuses me. I don't know anything about Webster. Unless I leave my soul in my sleep and fly over there each night.
PPPS: I am drunk. And very surprised that I have kept it up 'til now to inform you of that. I am drunk in a Lemon Bacardi Breezer kind of way. In a moment I'll either phone a Random Ex Boyfriend of mine and profess my undying love to him, or fall unconscious on the bed. I am hoping for the latter. Even though I am So Desperate at the moment and would probably sleep with, I don't know, a caterpillar if it asked me nice enough. Mmm.. sexy caterpillar..
Friday, April 6, 2001 09:46 p.m.

Urgh. Exhausted. Today I skived work because I had panic attacks (and no, I have no idea why those buggers decided to creep back into my life) and so I drove up to Scotland with my Dad to collect my bonnie wee sister from her bonnie wee university.
But, can you believe, I saw absolutely NO wild haggis' and no men wearing kilts and no one playing bagpipes while I was there?! I was very sad. I have never seen a real life man in a kilt before. I wanted to peer up their kilts and see what they wear underneath. It is really unfair to deny me such a privilege..
Also today we saw lots and lots and LOTS of piles of burning sheep & cows because we drove through Cumbria where the majority of sheep & cow burning is taking place. It was sad. I cried. Because at first you think the smell is like "mmm.. barbeque" (yes, even though I am vegetarian, I am allowed to enjoy the smell of bbq, okay?!) and then you realise that it's actually burning sheep & cows and then it's just horrid. If you have a sheep or a cow at home, please give them an extra kiss goodnight as you tuck them into bed this evening for me, won't you?
Friday, April 6, 2001 09:35 p.m.

::This little blog here will be about talking stuffed toys. If you are offended/irritated by such a thing, please look away now..::
Today I was in Paperchase again, because I am on a Libertaing the Sheep Mission and I was going to buy one for her as I think she would be a fantastic owner of a rescued sheep.
Anyway I was in the shop and as I approached the shelf they were on, I swear to God I was deafened by this echo of little screechy voices. It was horrid. And this time it wasn't just one random sheep - it was all the sheep AND the rabbits and hedgehogs and mice and just about everything. I moved a bit closer and they all seemed to outstretch their arms to me, and cry, and I honestly could not pick one. I had to run and run and run and run right back to work so that I would not be tempted to buy them all.
And then Baaney (who was in my bag - he has become my Lucky Pet Sheep) cried from inside my bag 'I'm lonely.. I want you to rescue all my friends', and dear god, it was just horrid. I nearly cried. I did.
Tomorrow I am going to brave the store again but I will be with my Substitute Mother and will hopefully be able to keep my psychotic head a bit clearer and away from all these talking animals. I didn't mind when it was just the one, god dammit. But if they're all just gonna start doing it now then that's just taking the piss, isn't it?!
Every day I become more and more convinced that I AM Doctor Doolittle (except I would be called Doctor Doolots, I think, because it sounds better).
Thursday, April 5, 2001 08:30 p.m.

Today my mobile phone network sent me some free business cards! Yay! I have been introducing myself to everybody I know and shaking hands and then handing over my business card all day! I feel so professional! Except my Mum is getting rather annoyed because, as she has been constantly telling me, she already knows who I am, god dammit.
Some people are so ungrateful of my free business cards. If you are ever in my neighbourhood, please feel free to pop by, shake my hand, and then I can hand out my business cards!
Hmm.. now all I need is a business..
Thursday, April 5, 2001 08:26 p.m.

Here are three random fantastic places you should go. And then, you know, come back. Because I'll get all lonely and cold and I may start crying. Thank you.
Thursday, April 5, 2001 08:24 p.m.

Yay! Yay! Yay! Tomorrow I get my sister back for a week! Yay!
(She is the one on the right of this photo as you're looking at it, with the big daisy across her chest. The girl on the left is some incredibly highly Attractive Magnificent and Witty Girl when she was a mere 18 years old. I forget her name now.. Hmm..)
Thursday, April 5, 2001 08:19 p.m.

There is a new entry at the journal and you will be pleased to note, I'm sure, that there are no mentions of talking sheep in this one!! Hee hee!
Also, go join the mailing list while you're there (there's a form at the bottom of the current entry) if you are not already on it! Eventually I will be doing a proper mailing-list only entries too so you must subscribe and make me feel popular and loved! :o) I am just so attention seeking. Also cold. I'm going to have a bath.
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 07:43 p.m.

<-- Here you are then! Proof that I mingle with the stars! And, no, I don't have a clue which one is which either! I could tell you by what they looked like, but even then that's really blurry as I had consumed rather large quantities of alcohol and was frozen like a snowwoman. I know that the one that says "Happy 21st" is the guy with Jesus hands who wears glasses (and it says Happy 21st as the tickets were a birthday present from Rachel & Dionne & as I couldn't go there on my actual birthday, we made yesterday my birthday too! Yay! Two birthdays! Like the Queen! Why didn't you buy me a present?!)
Also, the squiggle at the bottom of the back of the ticket is the guy with nice eyes who sings main vocals with the guy with glasses. And the only autograph we didn't get is that of the ginger bloke as apparently he was throwing up and didn't want to cover us in his spew. Fun fun.
(You can click on the images to make them bigger if you feel like making yourself more jealous! Hee hee!)
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 04:03 p.m.

Is my guestbook working? Sign it and let me know! Yes, that means YOU! And, honestly, I swear to God, this is more than wanting more guestbook entries this time. Really it is. Really. Stop looking at me like that! :o)
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 01:16 p.m.

I'm sorry about my little knicker-related outburst below. It was probably not very pleasant for you to read about. Please forgive me. Sometimes I am a little bit foul. And rude. I was even rude to a Barenaked Lady! Can you imagine?! Well, not rude, but I just thought that his autograph looked a bit like a scribble & didn't seem to say his name at all, so I asked him if he would sign his name properly so that it looked like his name and not a squiggle, but he said no! Huh!
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 01:08 p.m.

Please please please will people just stop getting to this site by searching for used knickers. You have no idea how much this upsets me. If you want my used knickers, please feel free to go through my laundry basket but for god's sake don't think that you would ever ever find any on this site. This site always wears clean knickers. Thank you.
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 01:04 p.m.

Please extinguish my tongue.
(P.S. Today on the train I overheard someone asking "Do you smoke?" and the person they were talking to replied "Only when I'm on fire." Hee hee. I thought that was hilarious.)
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 12:46 p.m.

Guess what? Guess what? Guess what what what? (And this is a special guess what for Beth because she will be jealous as hell, ha ha haa...)
I, Rowan, MET THE BARENAKED LADIES LAST NIGHT!! Hee hee hee! After the gig, we waited outside the stage door and after about an hour and a half of being frozen & rained on & general unpleasantness, they came outside and we got their autographs and it was all good.
The one with glasses (I have no idea of their names.. I am a terrible fan.. I kept whispering to everyone "Is he in the band?" as they came past. I was the source of much amusement for everybody, ho hum..) Anyway, my hand was really really frozen & numb & the one with glasses shook my hand and then it was all warm for hours. It was a miracle like Jesus.
The gig was fantastic too and they sang songs about octagons and wanking and made sure they pronounced everything in the proper English ways, which made me happy! And the support band was just them plus some random guy.
I will scan the ticket they signed a bit later on for you to be jealous by, hee hee!
Wednesday, April 4, 2001 12:40 p.m.

(P.S. Also, today, I will be freeing more talking sheep from their Paperchase confines. I am on a Mission! I am the Sheep Goddess!)
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 12:35 p.m.

Now, I am going far far away to the land of Sheffield (actually, it's only about 45 minutes!) to get drunk and see Barenaked Ladies and learn little rhymes about mens' toilets. Also, I am getting the train so I will be able to frantically scour the station for Sexy Train Conductor(TM) and try my best to look Attractive now I am not wearing my Powerful and Sophisticated (ho ho) work clothes.
I am such a bighead. It makes such a change.
Soo.. there will be no more entries here until tomorrow, okay?! Also, I won't be able to send out my notify-list only entry or reply to all the email that needs replies or write a new journal entry or anything. My God, but I'm disorganised.
Have a nice day internet-people. I love you all.
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 12:31 p.m.

Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee? Actually, not coffee, I can't make that very well. You'll have to have tea and like it or lump it. Do you want milk? Sugar? Biscuits?
Oh dear god.. I think I am addicted to making tea. HELP!
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 11:10 a.m.

Here is my obligatory, daily link to Rosie. Please send her a car. And a chauffeur. Someone who looks like a member of Westlife, preferably, although In My Humble Opinion, I would rather have anybody EXCEPT a member of Westlife driving my car. Ho hum..
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 11:04 a.m.

Here is a good thing about being off work today: It is only two and a half hours since I got up and already I've drank five cups of tea.
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 11:00 a.m.

Now, Mr You're It Blokee, I was going to post this conversation too, only decided not to because I didn't win. Sob. Next time, my dear, HA HA HAAA.. You will not be so clever with your Moon Harpoon(TM) and your Dexter from Dexter's Lab! Ha ha haaa! HA HA HAAA...!
Tuesday, April 3, 2001 10:55 a.m.

Unfortunately, Sexy Train Conductor(TM) was nowhere to be found today. I suspect that he has come across this page and decided to elope. Dammit.
Monday, April 2, 2001 06:35 p.m.

Today I was sat on the train and, you know, when you just DON'T want people to sit next to you because you have your legs stretched out really nicely & your bag on the seat next to you and a little sheep peeking out of it, & you're reading a newspaper & trying to look Unsociable and Smelly so that no one will want to sit next to you, because you're just really god damned comfortable? Well, why is it that people ALWAYS WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ME?! Even if the train is half empty people will always choose to sit next to me. Obviously, I am a Magnetic and Attractive Individual, but, really, even Magnetic & Attractive Individuals would like their space sometimes, you know?!
Anyway today was one of those half-empty train days and this huge, massive, fat, smelly guy chose to sit next to me, and take up all his seat and most of mine. And he couldn't balance himself so every time we went over a bump or round a corner, he fell into me. Anyway (part 2!) I got so sick of this that eventually, some force greater than common sense took over me and I very swiftly and painfully elbowed him in the side. Really really really hard, I believe. I swear to God, I did not intend to do it, but my subconscious urges were taking over me & I couldn't help myself.
It worked, however! He left the seat next to me & sat, I think, in the next carriage. I was hoping he'd get Sexy Train Conductor (TM) to come have words with me, but, alas, 'twas not to be.
Anyway, I have decided to elbow everybody who tries to sit next to me from now on! I will be the elbowing queen!
Sometimes I am so evil.
Monday, April 2, 2001 06:24 p.m.

I will reply to every person in the universe who has sent me e-mail tomorrow when I have (dum dum DUM..) A WHOLE DAY OFF WORK! Yay! Also, tomorrow evening I am going to see.. the Barenaked Ladies! Yay! And I am going to get incredibly drunk and sing a lot! Yay! Oh, I have waited so long for a life..
(P.S. I will NOT be sending email to people who splat me with ice cream pies. I am still trying to get the cherry out from where it became wedged in my ear..!)
Monday, April 2, 2001 06:21 p.m.

Do you know what?! When I am Prime Ministress of England, there is nothing I would like to better than to invent a title for Rosie so she could join my government and torture nasty men. Unfortunately, I am rather uninspired about titles at the moment.. Hmm.. How about Rosie Phang, Deputy Prime Ministress (hee hee!) With Special Responsibility For Torturing Nasty Men? You like?!
Monday, April 2, 2001 06:17 p.m.

Now I am going to sit for a very long time with potato slices on my forehead. Damn you spring and your bringing-of-hayfever-and-related-sinusitis-and-related-migraines! Also, one of my eyes has swollen up and I therefore look like a fish with a swollen eye. (Which kind of implies that I looked like a fish before my eye swellled up. Which I don't, really. Well, aside from the scales, of course. And the fact that I don't have a nose. Hmm.)
(P.S. Ta Rosie for suggesting potato skins! Any cures that involve me laying down and resting stuff on my forehead are good.)
Sunday, April 1, 2001 04:06 p.m.

Don't you just wish, somedays, that you had a big bunch of bananas and could hit various family members over the head with them?
P.S. Why oh why are grapes so expensive? It's not fair. I wish I lived in a vineyard.
Sunday, April 1, 2001 04:04 p.m.

More new entry type things in the journal!
Damn, I'm good.
Sunday, April 1, 2001 04:02 p.m.

Watching: Eastenders
Listening: Gorillaz - Gorillaz
Reading: Ralph's Party - Lisa Jewell
Feeling:

Thank you Wizard of Draws for the sleepy cat image!