Right. Everybody brace yourselves. I have had (dum dum dum...) a thought. I know - I was almost as shocked as you were. Thoughts rarely decide to make an appearance in my head these days. My thought is this:
I think I might take this weblog down and concentrate more on my journal site. I think that I spend entirely too much time on the internet which is definitely not a Good Thing and I need to do stuff in the real world. I also need to concentrate more on my writing and by keeping just a proper journal site it means I'll be able to practise putting more effort into it and.. well.. I can't think of any more excuses.
Before I make a decision, however, I would be interested in your opinions? Email me and let me know what you think. Should I stay or should I go? Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble.. or words to that effect.. la la laa.. I am going to have that song in my head forever now. Aargh.
Another alternative is to put more effort into my journal site but also move to livejournal and update there too. Then you can comment on things I say and tell me to shut up, which I'm sure would provide.. ooh, at least 10 seconds amusement for you.
Erm.. yes, so let me know what you think. Now I am going to sleep because I have work! Yes, work! To go to tomorrow. I can't decide whether I am happy or not about this - I will let you know. Sweet dreams!
Sunday, July 1, 2001 10:14 p.m.

asdjfweorfsadf;
I wanted to update the photo on here but I have nothing to say! I am bored! jksf weoaifjs lfak;sdjf a
That is my sister. She does not look like me - oh no. Oh no no no..!
Sunday, July 1, 2001 05:47 p.m.

Look! On your right! I have decided to use my webcam for, like, taking photos and putting them on the web and such! What an amazing concept, I hear you cry! I will try and change the photo every single day so you don't have to look at my scary face there constantly. I am feeling a little bit happier now. A little bit. It is incredible what realising your hamster is enjoying listening to your music can do for your mood. Ho hum. I am so easily pleased.
Saturday, June 30, 2001 09:50 p.m.

I am very disappointed in just about everything there is to be disappointed in at the moment, so I am keeping quiet rather than subjecting you to my self-pitying rambles. My God, I'm just so great aren't I?!
One thing I must say, however, is - British public! Why why why why oh why did you vote Bubble out?! Bubble was fantastic. Paul is possibly the most boring guy in the whole country and yet you'd rather have him in the Big Brother house over Bubble?! I am sorely disappointed in you. Now you can't come to my house to play anymore.
Everyone who isn't the British public, please download 'Heaven is a Half Pipe' by OPM and play it on repeat forever! It is a fab song! Thank you!
Saturday, June 30, 2001 06:55 p.m.

I am still tidying my bedroom. I suspect I will still be tidying it by the time I'm 60 because the amount of crap I have accumulated in my 21 years on this planet is amazing. Anyway, whilst I was tidying today I made a discovery almost-but-not-quite as exciting as the 3 year old chocolate I found yesterday! (By the way, the general consensus is that I don't eat the chocolate but buy myself some replacements instead - however, I still feel that this may be a waste of perfectly good free chocolate. I have unwrapped one and it looks quite yummy & there is no sign of mould or anything & it smells chocolatey & yummy still, so I am still interested in your opinions! What you think?!)
Anyway, my other amazing discovery I made today was three trillion envelopes and packs of writing paper! Wow! Leftover from the days when I had millions & millions of penpals. And then I started to think about those days and realised how much I miss looking forward to the postman each morning & studying peoples handwriting & opening envelopes & writing with a pen! And then I thought, I want more penpals! And then I thought, perhaps I could ask the people who read my weblog if they want to be my penpal & then we can write letters forever & it would be fun! So. Do you want to be my penpal?! I am quite serious about this. If you do e-mail me and we can sort something out! Yay!
By the way, to the penpals I already have who read this: I have not forgotten you! I am writing letters inbetween tidying out my room and sneezing and writing this so there will be something in the post to you really soon, okay?!
To everyone: I love you. Eat more cheese.
Thursday, June 28, 2001 01:44 p.m.

moo
Thursday, June 28, 2001 01:26 p.m.

Way way back in the days when I was with Ryan, I was given a box of Ferrero Rocher (mm... Ferrero Rocher)chocolates from the people I was doing work experience for at the time - this was in December 1998, or something. Anyway, one day when I had just been given the chocolates, I left Ryan in charge of them while I went for a shower and when I got back almost half the box had vanished! He had eaten them! Damn fool!
Anyway today I decided to tidy out my bedroom. Properly. For the first time since 1996, I think. Really. And, low and behold, what did I find hidden at the back of one of my wardrobes but all the Ferrero Rocher chocolates that were missing! Ryan hadn't eaten them - he had just hidden them like a very evil hiding person. Or a squirrel. They are all wrapped up and smell quite pleasant but do you think I should eat them? I am interested in your opinion as, you know, if I do decide to eat these nearly three year old chocolates and then I die I can sue you for it, okay?! So to eat or not to eat? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler on the digestive system to just abandon these ancient relics to the bin or blah blah blah blah. Damn Shakespeare.
Wednesday, June 27, 2001 06:33 p.m.

AAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Monday, June 25, 2001 08:20 p.m.

It is a lovely lovely sunny day. We are having a barbeque! Yay! And I am very sad because no one signs my guestmap anymore. And people come here from all over the place and just don't sign it and this makes me very unhappy. And don't you think that after having my bag stolen with my phone and my purse and my peppermint penises, I deserve some nice things to happen to me like people signing my guestmap?! There is a link to it somewhere to your right, you know. Thank you.
That is all. If you want a sausage or something (of the vegetarian variety, of course) putting on the barbeque then just let me know, okay?! Mmmm.. barbeque..
Sunday, June 24, 2001 06:17 p.m.

You will all be quite devastated to learn that my peppermint penises, which occasionally decide to make an appearance at the top of this page, were in my bag when it was stolen! My penises are gone! This is far more upsetting than losing my mobile phone or my money or my wallet or my driving license, you know. Please send me your penises as a replacement! Thank you!
Sunday, June 24, 2001 11:53 a.m.

Guess who wrote this poem! It is someone Very Famous and Very Important, you know. Really it is. And aren't they talented too? Well I never.
I have just had the most incompetent policeman in the entire world come round to see me. When, you know, your bag has been stolen you would, for example, ask the circumstances surrounding how the bag went missing, and if you'd seen the person take it, as I did, you would ask for a description of that person, would you not? This policeman did neither of these things - he just kept rubbing his head and looking like he was going to have a nervous breakdown.
Everyday I find some aspect of society to complain about. I am turning into a Grumpy Old Woman. I think I need to lie down.
Saturday, June 23, 2001 05:01 p.m.

I am not happy. Firstly because I have a hangover. Secondly because all men are complete arseholes. And thirdly because some ******* ***** ***** **** bitch stole my bag last night - with my purse and my phone in it and everything. And I saw her do it and followed her around and then she just vanished into thin air, a bit like the Sims ghost in my Sims house. If you see her before I do please kick her ass for me, would you?! Thank you. Now I am going to go back to bed and cry about the fact that I seem to be cursed in my existence with crappy crappy things that are always happening to me. Oh woah is me. Moan moan moan.
I hope you are all having a better weekend than me! And I hope no one stole your purse - or, indeed, any of your belongings - last night! Take care!
Saturday, June 23, 2001 09:45 a.m.

Everyone else does surveys on their weblogs! I want to do surveys too! Here is a survey what I have done:
1. age: 21
2. number of people i have had sex with (guys & girls): 6. And they were all male.
3. age when i lost my virginity: 16
4. number of times i have been in love: too many times
5. number of times i have had my heart broken: as above!
6. number of hearts i have broken: Three? Two perhaps? I have absolutely no idea - most of the guys I've been out with have been heartless bastards in the first place. Ho hum.
7. number of months i have been single: since January 2001. You do the maths, I can't be arsed! hee hee! I also have to add that these months I've been single have been the amazingly happiest ones I've ever been. So there.
8. number of continents i have visited: only one, but soon my pretties, soon I will rule the whole world! ha ha haaa..
9. age when i first flew all alone: 15
10. numbers of boys i have kissed in my life: between 30 or 40, I don't know. Yes, I am a tart. Stop looking at me like that.
11. number of girls i have kissed: none
12. number of grades i got at school that were less than A: a lot lot lot
13. number of drugs taken illegally: two
14. number of people i would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: four
15. number of people from high school that i stayed in contact with: five - three of whom are the same friends as above
16. number of cd's that i own: over 200
17. number of piercings: just two holes in each ear
18. number of tattoos: three - but i'm always waffling about them so I shan't elaborate now! hee hee!
19. number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: five, all for horrendously boring things
20. age when i first learned what sex was: too young
21. number of scars on my body: 3 huge scars on my wrists and lots of other ickle ones
22. number of things that would technically be classified as suicide attempts but actually weren't: this is a damn stupid question and I refuse to answer it. So there.
23. number of times a person has made me scared of what they could do to me physically: a depressingly large amount of times, oh woah is me, life is hard
24. number of things in my past that i regret: I see everything in my past as being a learning experience, making me the person I am today, and so I regret nothing at all. Really. It's too unhealthy to look back all the time and far too time consuming. Trust me on this.
That is the end of this stupid and pointless survey filled with stuff you really didn't want to know. I promise you that I will never fill in a survey on this site again now, okay?!
Oh, I am so bored! I want to write a haiku but I can't remember what one is - is it 17 syllables and 3 lines? Or is it something else? Help?! When I know what one is then I will write a haiku about how bored I am. Unfortunately, as I don't know what one is at the moment I will just write I am bored a lot of times. I am bored I am bored I am bored I am bored I am bored I am bored I am bored I am bored. Okay, that wasn't really a lot of times. I got bored.
SHUT UP, ROWAN!!!!
Okay, I'll shut up now. Have a pleasant sleep sleepy people!
Thursday, June 21, 2001 08:59 p.m.

That is the first time ever I have cried and cried because I'm so frustratingly bored. I am quite impressed with myself. The sooner my plans are finalised for my Summer Escape the better, you know? I am going to conquer the world, I am! ha ha haaa.. ha ha haa...
Thursday, June 21, 2001 01:45 p.m.

Tra la laa.. I am still not working and am so bored that I could eat my face off.. mmm.. face.. My days this week have consisted of films and films and films and crying babies and the computer. I am becoming increasingly jealous of my Sims - their last party was so good that a famous celebrity came to it! A famous celebrity! Stuff like that never happens to me in real life. God dammit.
Last night I was stuck going the wrong way on the ringroad in Leeds for a whole hour. I have been on the ringroad a zillion zillion times and not once have I ever managed to go in the direction I actually want to go in. Damn evil ringroad.
Moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan moan.
Mmm.. ginger men..
Thursday, June 21, 2001 01:11 p.m.

Today I am ill. My head feels like it is going to explode because it is too hot. Last night I dreamt I was asleep. I am disgusted at this lack of imagination.
Tuesday, June 19, 2001 10:16 a.m.

Yesterday I did not go near a computer for the whole entire day. This is what is known in my life as "a bloody miracle". To celebrate, because I have no work to do (damn underqualified students taking all the temp jobs)I am going to be spending the whole of today on the computer. Yay!
The birthday party was lots of fun, although there was no sign of any Fun Party Games. I came home with a zillion little glittery 21 shapes and a burst balloon stuffed down my bra. I have no idea how they got there. I often come home from nights out with things stuffed down my bra and absolutely no idea as to how they got there. I wonder what this says about me? Hmm..
P.S. My best friends are home from uni for ever ever now! They never ever have to go away again and I will always always have them here! You have no idea how happy this makes me!
P.P.S. Never ever kiss anyone with a small goatee beard, especially if the hair is quite long. It tends to go in your mouth and makes you feel quite nauseous. I wish I could stop kissing people I shouldn't, god dammit. It is getting so that I can't ever go out on a night out in the town where I live without bumping into at least three of them. Or maybe I just need to start on the men in a different town.. Hmm.. Ha ha haaa..
Monday, June 18, 2001 09:58 a.m.

I am very very sad. I just wrote a lot lot lot of writing in here and then I pressed a button and the writing all vanished and now I have to start again! It is most upsetting. I wrote some damn good things in that entry. You would have been terribly impressed. And shocked. Ah well.
Tonight I am going to a proper proper birthday party! I haven't been to a proper proper birthday party in years! I have to get dressed up all posh and make my hair all curly and everything! Which sounds like entirely too much effort to me. I wish I had a stylist. God dammit.
I hope we play Pass the Parcel at the party! And Lazy Logs! Except I am pants at Lazy Logs because I can't stay in one place for longer than two seconds. I suspect, however, that we will not play any party games and I will have to get my amusement by talking rubbish and drinking alcohol. Oh, woe is me.
Now I am going to eat some tomato soup! Beautiful soup.. beautiful soup.. La la laaa.. beautiful soup.. In my absence please listen to 19-2000 by Gorillaz. They sing about shiny shoes. Songs about shiny shoes are good. So there.
Saturday, June 16, 2001 11:55 a.m.

Hello! I really have nothing to say right now. Now right say to nothing have really I. Won thgir yas ot gnihton evah yllaer I.
I could tell you a story about a penguin. Actually, yes! I will tell you a story about a penguin that isn't my story but Carl From (Ex) Works story. So. His friend is a teacher and took her class on a school trip to the zoo. All the pupils were allowed to go round the zoo in little groups and when they joined again at the end of the day one of the little lads was soaking wet. He wouldn't say what had happened and the teachers just left it and thought he'd been messing around. But when he got home the lads mum phoned the school to say that he had a baby penguin in his lunch box! A baby penguin! In his lunch box! I hope this is a true story!
Now I sense some kind of life is happening without me downstairs so I must go and investigate. Don't wait up!
Wednesday, June 13, 2001 09:12 p.m.

"I feel great. I lied to save your feelings. truth convened, my head smashed through the ceiling. I lost an arm, no one harmed,you diplomatically alarmed. I sulked away to lick my thin skin. I'm not over you. I'm not over you. I'm not over you."
I'm sulking and moping and feeling sorry for myself for a while. And I've had this feeling since Friday like theres a hole in my ribcage where someone has sucked some vital part of me out and it's missing and I'm kind of lost. I'm missing far too many people and places. Also, I started a new temping contract today and it is in the Company From Hell and I'm sulking about that too. Also, I fall in love too much. And I wish I could stop it.
That's all. Go put the kettle on and make me some tea now would you please? There's a pet. Ta.
Monday, June 11, 2001 07:17 p.m.

Here are two frivolous things I have bought this week:
1. A radio that plays in the shower!
2. A stone troll picking his nose to go in the garden!
I am now not spending my money on any more frivolities for at least another three years. Okay?! Okay.
Joe is coming to see me this evening! Yay! I love Joe! He has a new car. It is an Astra diesal estate. He is 23 years old. Oh dear god..
Oh yes and I am still alive! I did not fall unconscious at all last night even though I drank lots of alcohol, and I also did not respond to any flirting by men who were already out with their girlfriends. Oh no. I did not respond at all. Also, I did not spend most of the evening flirting with Simon From Work who is married and 35 whole years old but the funniest and sweetest guy I have met for a long time and why the hell does he have to be married?! And why the hell do these married/in relationship guys have to flirt with me and why the hell do they have to be married/in relationships in the first place?! Men are all bastards. Except Jorrit, of course. And Joe. So there.
Oh Simon From Work.. sigh... You sexy ginger man.. sigh.. And now I will not see you again for ages because I am not going to work there for ages and ages.. sigh.. Although perhaps this is a good thing? Hmm.
Someone has bitten my lip. I am not happy.
My stone troll is called Simon From Work.
I have taken my site out of the diarist.net clix thing as I feared it was becoming rather an obsession. So don't vote for me now. Send me cake instead, of the carrot variety. Thank you. I love you all, especially if you're not a married man. Hee hee.
P.S. Sign my guestmap! Sign my guestmap! Please! There is a link on the right somewhere! Thank you! :o)
Saturday, June 9, 2001 05:36 p.m.

Hello! I am going out drinking with the people from work soon! Yay! I will be out all evening and I am not going to get at all as drunk as I was last week when I fell unconscious and nearly died. I am going to drink pints very very slowly and pretend that Bacardi Breezers don't exist. Also, I am wearing a skirt and I look god damn sexy, you know?! Ha ha haa. My skirt has tassles round the bottom and I look like a cowgirl! Yay!
Spacehog are cool. And they come from Leeds. And I know one of their mums who used to be my dinner lady and make me wear a pork pie hat. So there.
Also, the lie from Tuesday was number 8, unfortunately as it was the only near sane one. My cousins best friend did not go out with Dipsy from the Teletubbies. One of her ex work colleagues was, however, married to Robson Green. (Though she's not now). So that's very similar isn't it?!
I am drinking milk.
Friday, June 8, 2001 02:58 p.m.

I am going to go vote! Gosh, how exciting! I am going to vote Liberal Democrat. And you should all too if you have any sense in your damn minds (not that I do have any sense in my damn mind, I'm just, you know, saying, that's all!) People who don't vote make me so mad. I am going to rule this country one day, god dammit, and I don't want any voter apathy in my country! You will all vote for me! Ha ha haa.. HA HA HAAA..
Also, I have a new guestmap! There is a link on the right! Sign it! Sign it! And tell me where you live so that I can plot my voyage round the world to visit you all (actually, that's a pretty good excuse not to tell me where you live, hee hee!)
Also, with it being election day and all, why not vote for me?! Ah.. go on.. go on go on go on.. I am taking my site out of the contest soon because I fear it is becoming an addictive habit and also you will all start hating me for making you vote so much. So vote now because it may be your last chance! Thank you! :o)
My head hurts.
Thursday, June 7, 2001 07:55 p.m.

My sister and I are listening to music and pretending that we are in a rave. My sister is flashing the light on and off really really fast to resemble (I think) a strobe light. Unfortunately all it is doing is making me dizzy. I'm too old for this rave malarky.
I have nothing to say so here are some random thoughts as they come into my brain: This music is NOT Matchbox 20 - somone has lied to me. My knee hurts. Vote Liberal Democrat tomorrow, won't you?! Thank you. My best friend comes home from uni FOR GOOD on Monday! Yay! I wish people would stop dumping rubbish on this desk. My hamster smells of wee. The computer is gonna freeze in a minute. I have eaten Ravioli. AOL is shite!
P.S. My sister has been using my AOL username a lot lot to avoid people she doesn't like messaging her so if I seem to be away a lot more than usual then don't think I'm ignoring you on purpose - it is most probably my sister ignoring you on purpose. So that's much better then.
Wednesday, June 6, 2001 06:58 p.m.

Hey! You! Yes, you! You with the big eyebrows and the beer belly and the stupid CD of bagpipe music! Do you keep coming back here in the hope that I'll have written something about you?! Does it feed your ego?! Have most of your exes vanished into eternity and it's just kind of entertainment for you to keep visiting this stupid girl you went out with who occasionally still writes about you but who you would run far away from if ever you saw her in the flesh because she'd kick your ass? Am I making sense?! Shall I shut up?! Okay then. But please explain to me why you keep tormenting me like this because it's so unfair to make me think about you if you're just doing it to feed your ego or to piss me off. Thank you.
Everybody else who-is-not-my-ex-boyfriend, I hope you have had a pleasant evening. I love you all. Send me cake.
Tuesday, June 5, 2001 09:13 p.m.

Mmm.. carrot cake.. Mmm.. Votes..
Tuesday, June 5, 2001 01:28 p.m.

I saw this game on Gen's site and I thought it was such a cool idea that I had to play too! Yay! So. Out of these ten facts about me, only one, quite unfortunately, is a lie. Which one do you think it is?!
1. When I was a kid I wouldn't talk to people unless they called me Matthew, as in Matthew Corbett from the Sooty Show, because I loved him so much I wanted to be him.
2. My dad's cousin's wife does the voiceover for an ad about female incontinence pads.
3. Last Friday night, after going out drinking, I collapsed, hit my head, and fell unconscious for about 10 seconds.
4. As a kid I would take packet soups and tins of food to bed with me as a kind of comfort thing.
5. When I was 16 years old, my boyfriend of the time and his best friend stayed overnight at my house without my parents knowledge by hiding in my wardrobes.
6. When I was a kid I had to take a day off school because my sister got a Rice Krispie stuck to her face and it made me feel sick.
7. When I was 17 I (stupidly) took magic mushrooms, was rushed to hospital, thought I was in hell, hit a nurse and tried to jump out of a forth storey hospital window.
8. My cousins best friend went out with the actor who plays (the English) Dipsy from the Teletubbies.
9. When I was 12 I ran for the school in the county cross country championships. Unfortunately, I came last because I tripped over right the beginning of the race and skidded along the grass for a while.
10. I have told so many men that I'm a lapdancer that many people in the town where I live actually believe it now.
Yes, unfortunately only one of these things is a lie. God dammit. I am going to go cry about my pitiful existence now! Feel free to call the men in white coats about me, won't you?
Tuesday, June 5, 2001 12:38 p.m.

I almost forgot to tell you about my dream!! I dreamt that Rosie came to visit me and she was really really tall like a giant and I was afraid of her! Hee hee!
Monday, June 4, 2001 08:03 p.m.

Archiving hurts. It is like saying goodbye to a beloved friend. Really it is. Ho hum..
I need some new music! Do you know of any good music?! Mail me and tell me what to download from my lovely new better-than-Napster-even Audiogalaxy (ta Tiffany! You are wonderful like jelly tots!) because my ears are bored. In fact, every part of me is bored. I have taken this entire week off work because I thought I deserved some paid holiday (yes, temps get paid holidays these days.. 'tis a miracle like turning bread into fishes or fishes into wine or water into wine or whatever-it-was. Maybe I should read a Bible.. hmm..) but it's only day three of my holiday including the weekend and already I want to put my head in a cement mixer and ground it up because I am so damn BORED. AAAARGGHHH...! Take me out, would you?! I'm very well behaved and completely toilet trained. And I'm really witty. Honestly. I could keep you entertained for hours (though I suspect you would be laughing at me rather than with me, damn fiends..)
P.S. Number 4!!! Yay!! Vote vote vote! Cheers m'dears! Love you!
Monday, June 4, 2001 07:33 p.m.