Ooh! Ooh! One more thing! Here is the prayer I have taped up beside my bed & read every day:
Dear Lord,
So far today, I've done alright.
I haven't lost my temper,
haven't been grumpy, greedy,
nasty, selfish or over indulgent.
I'm very thankful for all that.
But in a few minutes I'm going to
get out of bed, and from then on,
Dear God,
I'm going to need a lot more help.
Amen.
Saturday, March 31, 2001 07:28 p.m.
Today I have a man with a hammer banging into my skull and am too migrainey to entertain you with my Wisdom and Wit at the moment. I do apologise. However, you may amuse yourselves by reading my latest journal entry, or following that same link, clicking on 'people', then 'moi' and reading my brand new self-indulgent me page and biography! Wow.. Sometimes I just spoil you, don't I?
P.S. Apparently Having People Sign Your Guestbook is an excellent cure for migraines. Really it is. (Thank you to the people who have signed my guestbook already, who are all yummy like chocolate!)
Saturday, March 31, 2001 07:26 p.m.
Mmm.. pasghetti hoops..
Friday, March 30, 2001 07:53 p.m.
Today a pigeon landed on my head. I am not making this up. Luckily, he did not cover me in poo, so I left feeling like quite a Dr Doolittle and at one with all the animals.
(P.S. There is now a
guestbook for your signage purposes. I know I always said I was against guestbooks, because I felt horrible and unpopular and dejected when no one signed them, but I just had to have this as look at what's on the background of it! Go and see! It's fantastic! Really! Also, I'm sure you will ALL sign this one, right?! RIGHT?! Please?! Do you want to see me cry? I swear, if you don't sign it I'll take a photo of me crying and post it here so you can see the damage you've done! :o)
Thank you!)
Friday, March 30, 2001 07:46 p.m.
Guess what happened today?! Sexy Train Conducter came up to me, threw his arms around me, and said "Attractive Sexy Girl Who Gets On My Train Each Morning, I think I am in love with you. Let's run away together and make babies forever more."
Do you think I am telling the truth here? Or do you suspect that this morning I realised that, deep as my obsession may be with this Sexy and Messy Haired Individual who stamps my ticket every morning (please don't misinterpret that into anything more than, you know, he stamps my ticket every morning), really to him I am just another, perhaps more devastatingly attractive (ho ho), girl who crowds up his train and makes him do work, and who he occasionally glances at and then tries to ignore when he sees she is gawping at him, and salivating like a creature with rabies?
Friday, March 30, 2001 07:34 p.m.
Tomorrow will see TWO brand new journal entries come your way, you lucky lucky people. At the moment I am just too cross eyed to type anything up. Be patient, okay?!
Thursday, March 29, 2001 09:06 p.m.
Obsessions of the Male Variety Today:
NO SEXY TRAIN CONDUCTER!!! Can you believe that?! I was quite gutted and was seriously considering travelling on every single train in the West Yorkshire region just in case I saw him, when I was cruelly interrupted by Urgent Punching Hole Work to do. Sob. Maybe I should tie myself to the tracks at some cleverly selected junction that all the trains have to pass through and then I'd be bound to stop a train with him on at some stage, wouldn't I?!
There have been no other sexy men today, I'm afraid. It has been quite unfortunate. The only other potential specimin I had in mind was swiftly rejected after he opened his mouth and spurted the biggest load of crap I have ever heard anyone talk in my life. And, he had a lisp. (Notice I put that second, cleverly trying to make you think that the fact that he spurted crap was the main reason I was put off him and it wasn't anything Shallow and Silly like a lisp.. hmm...)
I hope tomorrow brings more sexy men to me! Are you a sexy man? Could you email yourself to me? Thank you!
Thursday, March 29, 2001 08:57 p.m.
Today I am tired. I have spent my entire day punching holes into bits of paper and am consequently rather cross-eyed. Also, my sister is trying to gas me with joss sticks. Also, she is drunk and making me jealous because I am craving Bacardi Breezers and she is holding them under my nose to piss me off, and I have to try and get drunk off the smell instead.
No, I am NOT an alcoholic, thank you very much. I am just a Bacardi Breezer coneseur (spelling?!) in the same way that people are Wine Coneseurs (spelling?!) So it's all good really.
Also, my sister is rather underage and should not be drinking alcohol at all. Unfortunately, as I don't have any Powers to Reinforce the Law in This Land (soon, my pretties.. soon.. ha ha HAAA...), I can't confiscate her alcohol. Damn and blast.
Thursday, March 29, 2001 08:50 p.m.
P.S. I have promised to send chocolate to a Certain Person because chocolate is good at making people happy, I think! Could this Certain Person email me and let me know her address as I appear to have mislaid it because I'm a dizzy moose! Thank you! :o)
Wednesday, March 28, 2001 08:03 p.m.
Here is a list of men I have become obsessed with today: Sexy train conductor, who I had to physically restrain myself from following up and down the train this morning! I am thinking of developing a Big Problem tomorrow on the train to work that only he can save me from. Do you think I should faint or something? Do you think Sexy Train Conducters find that alluring? I wonder..
Also, Sexy Work Guy (not the short arse ginger guy I mentioned below, but another one who is not so short and not so ginger)Also, Guy Who I Used to Go To School With Who Gets On My Train Every Morning. (As you can imagine, my trip to work in the morning is filled with excitement). (Also, as you can see, I really have No Life, since the blokes I am obsessed with mainly revolve around the train or my work.. Aaargh..)
I will update my list of Men I Have Found Attractive tomorrow! Because I'm sure you really find it interesting, do you not?!
Wednesday, March 28, 2001 07:52 p.m.
I have had a shitty shitty day today. So shitty, in fact, that it caused small drops of salt water to fall out of my eyes in quite a cascading fashion.
I will write a journal entry later to whinge about it for you.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! (ha ha haaa..!) (Also it may not get uploaded til tomorrow because I am a lazy arse, so no complaining if it's not there by the end of today, do you hear me?!)
Wednesday, March 28, 2001 07:50 p.m.
I have been skipping from here and back and here and back again, trying to figure out if Rosie's nice comments really are about me! And, you know what I think they actually are! Thank you Rosie! (Rosie is also an incredibly sweet girl, and you should all go visit her, okay?!) (Now, do you think I've won the medal for linking the same person the most in one blog entry?! Is there such a medal?! If not, there should be, goddammit!)
Wednesday, March 28, 2001 07:46 p.m.
Today is the most boringy internet surfing day in the whole of boringy internet surfing days. I am bored. Plus, my statcounters aren't working, so I'm also annoyed 'cos I can't see whose stalking me. It isn't fair, sob sob sob.. I think I'm gonna go stick my head in a plantpot now.
Tuesday, March 27, 2001 10:27 p.m.
I swear to God, I am having SERIOUS lack of man problems today! I was wandering round Leeds station for about five minutes with my head in the clouds when I realised that I was, in fact, stalking the very very incredibly sexy train conductor who had been on my train to work. I was subconsciously following him round, driven by my lack-of-bloke desperation. Aaargh..
Also, there is a little guy at work who is ginger and about ooh.. 10 years old (probably) and who wears a suit entirely too big for him. And it was pointed out to me by my wonderful co-worker (the only nice person I work with) that he was, in fact, obsessed with me. These reports were later confirmed by his friend from the office downstairs and also several of the evil people in my office.
Now, he is far too small and his suit practically hangs off him and he has a high voice and he's thick as two short planks, but the minute I found out he was interested in me, it was quite a struggle to contain my raging, desperate hormones.
HELP!!!!!!
Oh dear God..
Tuesday, March 27, 2001 08:05 p.m.
<-- My sisters! Yay! Well, there's me there, and Henry, but the other two are my sisters. Sophie (15) is the one on the left (as you're facing it), then there's me and Henry in the middle, and Beth (19) on the right. Yay! Sisters!
Unfortunately, this photo was taken on my 21st birthday, when we'd just got back from my celebration meal. I was, therefore, rather amazingly drunk and really do look it from this photo. I have no recollection whatsoever of it being taken!! I am such a pisshead sometimes!! (Also, you can see some of my cards in the background! And the flowers that Joe bought me! Yay! I love birthdays!)
Also, you can see my desktop now! Wow..!!
You can click on either of these to view them in their full (a-hem) splendour, if you so wish!
Monday, March 26, 2001 08:39 p.m.
By the way, I probably owe you all email. I will write soon, I promise. I am a good girl really and not at all lazy! Honest!
Monday, March 26, 2001 07:12 p.m.
Here are my favourite cakes/biscuits/chocolate bars/things to rot my teeth:
angel cake, Kinder Buenos, lemon pie, and Nutri Grain Elevenses. I have had all of those today. My teeth are going to get very rotten and start falling out soon and I'll be all gummy & have false teeth & I'll take them out all the time and chase people with them. Or something like that.
Now I must go watch A Question of Sport! Mmm.. Ally McCoist.. (I have got over the whole never-fancying-a-Scottish-bloke-because-he-reminds-me-of-Mark thing now!)
P.S. I am mentioning men I fancy rather too much of late, I feel. This, of course, is because I am desperate. Ah well.
Monday, March 26, 2001 07:00 p.m.
I did not, actually, buy Hear'Says album today, some of you will be pleased to hear! I was in HMV and I did have it in my hand, but in the end I decided that the men who were serving at the time were far too attractive to see me purchasing such things, so I put the CD back on the shelf in a rather hurried fashion, hopefully giving the impression that I'd picked up the wrong one.
I am buying the CD from Amazon, though, ha ha haaa... I am also buying the Gorillaz CD and you all should too, okay?! OKAY?! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!!
Monday, March 26, 2001 06:53 p.m.
You should all buy this book because it is fab and Paul McCartney is God. Okay?!
Sunday, March 25, 2001 08:46 p.m.
Aaargh! Jorrit has discovered my secret! I am really a cat who can type! I am just so clever, you know?!
Sunday, March 25, 2001 08:39 p.m.
Yay!!! Popstars!
I am at quite a loss for things to do now that Popstars and Shipwrecked and Celebrity Big Brother have all finished. It is very unfair being forced to live in my own world rather than somebody else's now. Also, I have no men to be obsessed with now there's no Noel from Popstars or Tim from Shipwrecked or (a-hem) Jack Dee on TV regularly.. Aaargh..
Are you male?! Can I be obsessed with you instead? Let me know, won't you?!!
Sunday, March 25, 2001 08:22 p.m.
Also, today I got flashed at by a Mercedes Benz. And there is a helicopter circling my house. I swear to God. I think I am being Watched by International Assasins. Hmm.. How exciting..!
Sunday, March 25, 2001 03:35 p.m.
There is a new entry up in the journal. It's a bit grumbly, though, but I'm sure you're used to me being grumbly by now, are you not?! :o)
Sunday, March 25, 2001 03:31 p.m.
Happy Mothers Day to everyone who is a Mummy! :o) Even people who aren't celebrating Mothers Day today like we are in the UK!
I bought my Mummy a Kinder Bueno. She said it was the best present ever because I managed not to eat it and I'd had it for three whole days. This is somewhat of a miracle for me since I am almost, but not quite, as addicted to Kinder Buenos as I am to Nutri Grain Elevenses.
(I also bought her a book, before you start thinking what a cheapskate I am!!)
Sunday, March 25, 2001 03:28 p.m.
